Its been a long time ~

It's been a long long time since i last put a note for myself on facebook. It has also been a long time since i need to remind myself of something that is such dear to me. Usually that is the case when I'm feeling so down, or when i miss my mother.

But today, it's neither of that. Today, perhaps; for the first time, it's just me and my inept remarks of myself.

So what is it all about? It's the void. The same damn void that i felt many years ago. It keeps on appearing puncturing a hole deep inside of me; making me feel soulless and empty.

I've kept myself occupied, i gained a lot of nice friends to talk with; to hang out with. I've somehow attach myself to a person i can call a brother.

So why does it keeps on appearing; the void? Was it me? Did i do something wrong? Did i miss anything? Why?

To be honest with, i don't even know.

I need someone. Someone to keep reminding me of something that i don't even know about. And that doesn't make any sense at all. But i know i do need someone, someone to miss to, someone to keep my smile on. But i just don't know who.

Someone to keep me mesmerized, is that even possible?

I used to ignore these kind of bullshit; thinking it's just me and my head. But i know deep inside, i can't keep on ignoring this void as it is growing bigger and bigger; puncturing and rending a deeper hole on my soul.

Will i one day be soulless, keeps on wandering like i have no purpose in life?

I do not want that. I have to find a cure. I have to find the elixir; the remedy to this prolonged sickness.

So, will you be my cure?

Bile pulak aku ade muka macam boyfriend kau? -.-"

Aite so yesterday I went to LIFE to check out some news, to wash my rusty brain of course. I have been sittin in my room for like days, studying. So yeah I checked out pictures of this girl named "Mila Kunis". What I had in my mind was "Hmm she is quite a catch". Not that I like her but she looks just hot, naturally. Yes.
Suddenly my friend, got into my room and checked her out as well. He then said, "Dude, try google this, "Ballerina Bun". I was reluctant at first. But then he managed to convince me so I did. And so I google-ed this "Ballerina Bun". Cus of the latency of the speed of my broadband, only a picture got out. And I said to him, "Dude, she is old -.- WTF man". And few seconds after that, heaps of pictures comin out with different faces. I was like err what is this. YOU GOT ME BRO. That moment, I laughed hard, like real hard. "Ballerina Bun" is actually a hairstyle. Haha. You really made my day bro, you did. You got me. Cheers :)

So much to tell.

I had to let you go because I can no more tolerate with 'maksiah' and sins. I have done so much sins, repent is taking its place. Love to the creator is what I call real love now. You may laugh if you wish to. See you guys in future life.

M done writing, bye

Hatin' yourself for no reason is somethin' you should try.

The depths of a man's soul cannot be measured in a manor of meters and fathoms but rather it is in my opinion only quantified by his proximity to heaven and hell. It was in such a state I ushered myself past the town tavern bursting at the seams with the sounds laughter and drunken piano playin'. Had it only been a different night, a different place, different kind of man passin' by the threshold of that innocent pub. The events that transpired there would never have even begun to be grasped by the feat. I could only ask if anyone outside that place had a clue when the exclamations of mirth became the desperate screams of the helpless begging for their very lives.